14 August 2013


I rarely blog about my thoughts or feelings here, but in recent weeks, I find myself struggling with a lot of things. Particularly, existential crisis (self-proclaimed, I guess).

Everyday is a constant battle with myself and between the things I love to do and the things I have to do.

Of course, everyone can be passionate about a lot of things. It is not like you're married to a passion and cannot do anything else other than that. I am passionate about a lot of things, But so many times, qualifications (i.e academic results, years of experiences etc) outweigh passion. Just because I'm less qualified to do something, doesn't make me less passionate about it.

I wish I could just do something that I really like, and not do something that is RELATED to what I like. The feeling is just completely different.

I wish I had the motivation to press on and achieve what I had in mind. Or had I gotten better grades 3 years, or maybe even 8 years ago, I would be somewhere near my goal. But no, I was a terrible student. No straight As. Occasionally, there would be Bs, but C, D or F (fail) were a common sight in my report book.

And this is why now, I'm terribly lost. I have lost my direction in life. I no longer know what I am passionate about, or if passion can actually help put food on the table.

Maybe some (lucky) people get to do what they love or find their true calling in life. Some people, like me, don't and never will.


  1. I am good in something but I'm passionate to other things.
    The only choice is try to like what you have to do and find time to do what you really like!
    Its all about balance in life.

    Hope you won't struggle too much soon!

    1. I can never seem to find balance in life, ugh, is it just me or? I'm so stressed out by out my life is turning out. But thank you anyway, I hope I can figure things out soon! :)

  2. I think everyone goes through that in life. I've been through that and was pretty bad...but somehow life has a way of putting things into its place. I now like what I do and am passionate about it, but I'm also very passionate about other things, that I do when I feel like it. It didn't take 2 months, nor even 2 years, and there was a lot of struggle in between, but time goes by, and you learn new things, and, most importantly, grow up.

    There'll come a day when you will appreciate even the bad moments because they made you who you are presently. (Man. I feel like an old lady talking here...! =P )

    I hope you feel better soon and find yourself. =)

    1. Aw, thank you Akane/Lena (which do you prefer to be called?). I love how you say that life has a way of putting things into its place, gives me hope that eventually all that has happened will lead to somewhere and that everything will work out.

      P/s: I really love your 19 days in Japan blog. Very stunning pictures! I hope you do a blog like that for every single of your vacation.

      I also appreciate the fact that you took to time to read through this rant post of mine.



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