Just hit the BIG FIVE ZERO on Instagram and thank god it's not my age we're talking about here. Every time I hit a 'milestone', I feel obligated to write about how I feel and maybe that's because I never really express how I feel inside on this platform of mine, no matter how personal I try to make it.
Of course, compared to the millions of accounts out there, 50 thousand followers is no big deal and I say this without the intention to mock anyone that have less than what I have. I just find it incredibly overwhelming to have such a substantial amount be it spambots or not. To have a thousand people liking my photos (again, there are those with tens of thousands but I'm contented with where I am) that I share of my daily life.
It definitely warms my heart when followers (but I prefer to call you guys my friends) tell me how much they look up to me and I'm glad that I am an inspiration. When they let me know how much they enjoy watching my stopmotions and miss them when I haven't made one in a long while. Let's be clear though, I enjoy doing what I do, not for your liking, but really just for myself. I create videos simply because I love shooting them and editing them. I take photos simply because I hope to show you guys the beauty I see through my eyes or my lenses.
My real life friends like to ask me how I got to where I am today. How did I start from 50 followers to 50,000 today. The answer is, I really don't know. The numbers most certainly did not surge overnight, it was a slow and steady process. I made new friends and lost some along the way, even made enemies too (gosh).
If I have to give some advice it would probably be to be true to who you are and never forget these few things: 1. those who were there for you before you made it 2. understand that you can never please everyone 3. that the number of likes don't necessarily have meaning - they don't dislike your picture just because you have a few hundred likes lesser than usual 4. do whatever makes you happy!
Today, other than being thankful for the opportunities I have been given thanks to all of you, I am also thankful for the very few friends I have in my life right now. Being 22 and walking away from negativity made me see things a lot clearer and I appreciate having a small circle of friends than a large one that I can't keep up with or have to pretend to like. I'm not the kind that would sweeten my words to please you, I don't see why I should have to pretend to like you. Remember how I talked about new year new me circa 9 months ago? Previously blinded by hate incited by others and hostility, this year I want to be as honest as I possibly can, and radiate as much positivity that I can. You have no idea how much joy it brings to me when I know that I've helped someone, whether it is directly or indirectly. It fuels me to do better and become better.
All that I can say is please don't expect too much from me, I'm only human just like you are and I have days when I'm not in the best mood, there are days when I can't control my emotions or get too controlled by my emotions, there are days when I just want to go out and help everyone I can or leave everyone to die, there are days when I fall and have to pick myself up but mostly importantly, I make mistakes too.
Life is not all rainbow and sunshine, but a bad day doesn't equate to having a bad life. If you're in a bad situation like I was before, I hope you know your self worth and find strength to pick yourself up and leave whatever it hurting you or your soul. Before I start typing incoherently, I would like to share 3 quotes that I find relatable:
'Live right now. Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.'
'Once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.'
'Try not to feel jealous about things, or people or places. It's toxic. Just keep living. You will find your happiness.'
Sending good vibes to whoever is reading this!